A Question I Was Asked:



'What Chance Does a Young Christian Man Have of Finding a Virgin to Marry in 2008?'






My Reply
Oops - this is a difficult one! But may I suggest that this is somehow putting things the wrong way around? Surely the question must be: How difficult might it be for a young man to find a fine young Christian woman of outstanding character to marry and raise a family with? Is that not somehow better? In other words, I find that your question is prejudging things rather too much.


Now I am not going to suggest that - if we take young unmarried women in the early to mid twenties - there are too many virgins among them because we just have to face the fact that society has drastically altered in this respect. At one time a young woman was only prepared to lose her virginity to her husband or at least to the man she deeply loved and who would soon be her husband. But (I am reliably informed) that most modern young women see losing their virginity as a sign of entering full womanhood; they begin their periods, then they seek to lose their virginity. I was absolutely shocked when a lady who has counselled many young Christian ladies told me this. She also told me that there is often rivalry among a group of young women friends as to which one might lose their virginity first! It is sometimes seen as a sort of 'prize'!! Many of us might find this truly shocking but it is no use burying our heads in the sand on some of these issues. Society once saw a woman who was a virgin on her wedding day as a very fine woman of character, but today a woman who is still a virgin at age twenty-two is (so I am told) seen as rather sad and pathetic. According to a recent UK newspaper report, based on a poll, the average young British woman of 21 has already had nine sexual partners none of whom she intends marrying, and only 1% intended preserving their virginity for their future husband. A staggering 25% of the polled young women did not view sexual intimacy as only being meaningful where there was true love, but viewed it recreationally (that is, in the area of leisure, entertainment, hobbies and relaxation).


But despite what any such statistics might tell us, I have no doubt that there are still many very fine young women, perhaps brought up in a Christian family environment, who intend preserving their virginity as a wonderful gift for their future husbands; but we simply have to accept that there are fewer such women than in the past. But I would simply add this: don't keep looking for perfection otherwise life will be full of disappointments! When a young man and woman fall deeply in love, surely part of that love should be a willingness to forgive each other for any former mistakes. The happiest married man I ever met - a staunch Christian - told me that two months before his wedding he learned that his future wife was not a virgin. He willingly accepted this and forgave her and they have had a wonderful marriage blessed with two very fine children (now grown).


A single young man should take this to the Lord in prayer, as should a young woman seeking a husband. Ask Him to direct your steps in finding a very fine marriage partner. This is exactly what I did many years ago and I certainly was not disappointed when I met the lady of my dreams! But one sometimes needs to be patient. I did not marry until 32. My wife was 25. We have been, and remain, very happy and I strongly recommend marriage.
Robin A. Brace, December 3rd 2008.


UK APOLOGETICS